chocolate

All I want is coffee

This has been a rough week and it is only Wednesday :/

I switched to decaf coffee at the beginning of February.

I did it pretty gradually adding in more and more decaf coffee to my caf coffee until it was all decaf. That didn't suck too bad.

I have done this in the past and those first two days of no caffeine were MIS-ER-ABLE. I was a lump. I had no energy. No light. No focus. I was one sad panda.

But, I got through it.

And this time around it wasn't so bad. I didn't want to die, so that was cool.

But, my friends.

There is one thing I am leaving out. This time. Ohhh this time. I was like, you know what is okay?

Some dark chocolate.

I decided this right around V-day figuring it was apropos to embrace the delightful buzz of 80%+ dark chocolate. 

Yes. I know. Chocolate has caffeine. 

And OH YES. My body loved it.

My brain was so super happy. I'd have moments of OH MI GAWD I can be so productive! Which FEELS great in the moment, but isn't really helping my body for the long term.

Now is time to focus in on the long term. I want to get my body to a place where it isn't so dependent on stimulants to feel ammazeballs. I want that to come from me, I want to support my adrenal glands, and I want to one day maybe enjoy an occasional cup of caf coffee.

I also think chocolate is rad and will let it come to play again, but right now it is serving as a crutch and undermining my goals. 

So.

This month I am letting go of chocolate and boy, does this make me sad.

 

And all I want is a cup of coffee.

Sometimes the short term goal is so very tempting.

So. Very. Tempting.

And sometimes you have to mute it's siren call and focus on the long term goal.

One decaf sip at a time.

 

What Happens First?

Yesterday I brought up belief. 

I mentioned that belief drives behavior which drives results.

Think about that. 

I mean really take a moment to consider it. 

What are your behaviors?

What are your beliefs?

Does changing your behavior also change your belief, or do you always need to start at belief?

For me it was really a combination of both. By shifting my behaviors I had more space to question what I believed.

Whoa. What do I mean by that?

YEA YEA YEA Annette - WORDS! What do your WORDS MEAN?

Ok. What I mean is the relationship between how you feel and what you put in your mouth. Sugar is killer for me. As I mentioned in the last post it is like pure cocaine for my body and sugar begets sugars - meaning the more you eat the more you want to eat. When I am consuming sugar my brain is less happy. I am less likely to make good choices and I actually don't even really care because I am feeling pretty crappy. In this frame of mind I could give a flying eff about beliefs and results. I don't have energy to care, I don't think anything will change EVER because things feel hopeless. 

Let's level set here. 

I am not going to feel this way from one square of Dove chocolate, but in general if I am going on a bad food bender I am leading myself inevitably down a path of low grade depression. And when you are in that kind of muck everything seems SO very hard. 

My point?

The behavior had to shift for me to be able to get the space in my brain to reflect on what I actually care about. 

Tomorrow I will delve into this further. 

Spoiler: It is all about food.