coffee

All I want is coffee

This has been a rough week and it is only Wednesday :/

I switched to decaf coffee at the beginning of February.

I did it pretty gradually adding in more and more decaf coffee to my caf coffee until it was all decaf. That didn't suck too bad.

I have done this in the past and those first two days of no caffeine were MIS-ER-ABLE. I was a lump. I had no energy. No light. No focus. I was one sad panda.

But, I got through it.

And this time around it wasn't so bad. I didn't want to die, so that was cool.

But, my friends.

There is one thing I am leaving out. This time. Ohhh this time. I was like, you know what is okay?

Some dark chocolate.

I decided this right around V-day figuring it was apropos to embrace the delightful buzz of 80%+ dark chocolate. 

Yes. I know. Chocolate has caffeine. 

And OH YES. My body loved it.

My brain was so super happy. I'd have moments of OH MI GAWD I can be so productive! Which FEELS great in the moment, but isn't really helping my body for the long term.

Now is time to focus in on the long term. I want to get my body to a place where it isn't so dependent on stimulants to feel ammazeballs. I want that to come from me, I want to support my adrenal glands, and I want to one day maybe enjoy an occasional cup of caf coffee.

I also think chocolate is rad and will let it come to play again, but right now it is serving as a crutch and undermining my goals. 

So.

This month I am letting go of chocolate and boy, does this make me sad.

 

And all I want is a cup of coffee.

Sometimes the short term goal is so very tempting.

So. Very. Tempting.

And sometimes you have to mute it's siren call and focus on the long term goal.

One decaf sip at a time.

 

Gimme caffeine!

You know what is magical?

Coffee.

Oh man, it is good stuff. I hold it closely to my heart and my lips. Coffee has been my friend through good and bad. I love the smell, the taste, the routine, and that fun little buzz I get.

Sadly. Coffee is a beverage of diminishing returns.

One of the jobs I worked I got in at 6 am, which meant getting up at 4:45... which meant that by the time I was dropped off in Downtown Seattle all I wanted was coffee in my mouth. I didn't want to TALK to people, I didn't even want to hold up the thin veneer of social grace and be semi-polite to people. I just wanted my coffee. Now. Yesterday. GIMME!

I'd order a 12oz 4 shot Americano. It felt amazing for 2 seconds and then I needed another hit. GIMME MOAR! This was in my less enlightened days where I was still consuming sugar on the regular and thought there was nothing wrong with having a Redbull daily (along with my coffee).

I was constantly looking for a boost. Though I wasn't really aware that is what I was doing and if you had asked me at the time I would have said - I don't know why I get so tired/unfocused/fatigued I eat a pretty well! I workout all the time! I digress... 

Let's focus on the caffeine.

There are different viewpoints. Dave Asprey famous for his butter/mct oil/coffee blend (which I dig) is a big coffee fan and he believes that as long as the beans are sourced properly most people will be okay attributing some of the negative side-effects to mycotoxins that can be found in not properly prepared beans.

Mary Vance is on the more conservative side of coffee, she loves it, as I love it, but tends to keep it to once or twice a month due to negative side effects like "anxiety, energy fluctuations and blood sugar instability".

I flirt on both sides of the line.

What I know from self experimentation is that pulling coffee out sucks. I have a bad couple of days. It feels like all the "happy" has been taken from me. Why life. Why ever do anything. How be happy?  = my brain on no coffee... AT FIRST and then I get over the lack of happy. I begin to feel ok again and I notice the benefits:

1) I sleep better

2) I wake up better (much better, I mean a lot... like I actually don't mind waking up)

3) Overall better energy regulation

Then when I reintroduce caffeine I am like WHOA THIS STUFF IS IMPACTFUL! THIS STUFF PACKS A PUNCH! 

It is really cool to actually FEEL what coffee does to you again. And for this reason alone I recommend cutting it out for a while.

NOW...

There was a time when I cut it out and I did no coffee whatsoever - meaning - no decaf, no stimulants, no teas - etc. I just drank water in the morning. I was SOOO miserable. I love the ritual of coffee and this made me super sad. Almost not worth it sad.

So this last time I switched to decaf, I do tend to use the bulletproof decaf because I appreciate the care that goes into processing AND it tastes good! Going decaf was so much better for me - so much less painful - I got to have my ritual, my morning drink, and that made everything so much better.

Most recently I am back on the caffeine dragon. My mornings are suffering. I realize it is time to jump back off for a bit, but friends, let me tell you - this can be hard.

But.

It is worth it.

Give it a try. See how magical coffee can be again :)